i need your help ?
sick start at the beginning..
i am male 21.
my cousin is female and 12...
i am not a pedophile, please just read it every.
when
i was 8 my cousin was born and
i looked after her every the time as her dad was always at work,
i done every the jobs her dad was meant to do, i changed her diapers,
i washed her and always played with her at the park,
then my uncle moved away for work
and i was heartbroken and missed her for years, now i only have just regained contact with them,
and i
went over to visit her for a few weeks and the entire time she would
not cease cuddling up to me which is normal but then
she tried to kiss me on
the lips a few times, then more and more
then she would stare at me,
now i never realized until she started
giving me this pure look of lust for me that i only have seen in adults,
and it got me really worried, but i took no notice.
after her birthday night out she was every over me which i felt uncomfortable,
then in the back of the car on the way home she later grabbed my manhood, and my family where
in the car so i paid no attention and pretended it never happened and i was scared her dad saw that.
she also kept trying to receive me to touch her. mainly by picking her up
one day i helped her down from a high wall and i put my left hand on her bum to support her weight and i accidentally put my hand between her bum cheeks because she had a skirt on
and she was wearing a thong which is not right for a 12yo girl btw.
Anyway
she whispered in my ear don't put me down and gently kissed my ear, i knew where my hand was so i dropped her out of panic.
wrestling in the garden?, at first it was just fun
but then she would try receive me to pin her down,
and days to follow she would do stuff to try and receive me to wrestle with her and again she would open her legs and try and receive me to pin her down.
Then i was worrying more and more until we where watching a movie on my bed and she had
her legs over me, which is ok but then mooved them and crept them up until her legs where pressed tightly in between and against
my manhood and i was wearing mp pj bottoms naturally when something fumbles around that
area you receive a reaction, and as i did and i was shocked so i moved her legs away but
she put them back,
so i turned on my left side then so did she and she pressed herself
against me deliberately, moments later i knew she could feel my manhood i was embarrassed and felt shame but could not move.
then she stopped watching the movie and went to the end of the bed she lied on her front on the
end of my bed and put her hands underneath her lower body, and as i looked in wonder of why she is at the end of the bed i saw her
bum clenching slowly,
then i realized she was masturbating in front of me.. she did
this another 2times in the weeks i was there.and a third occasion she called for
me from upstairs as i walked in her room
she was lying on her bed only her top half was showing she was wearing a bra, but she was smiling at me and she told me in a cute voice
I'm getting changed cuz and she smirked, i was confused only to realize where her hands wher and i pretended
it never happened for days.
then a few times after she would try and look me naked like 1 was she burst in my room
when i was getting changed after i told her to wate at the door
but she came in and i pulled my trousers up in time but she stopped smirked and smiled at me then
went into my shower which dose not have a door so i had to leave the room. and she would try look me in the shower.
or she would jump on me when i was lieing on my bed and she
would try sit on top of me and i had to keep getting up and pretend to go to the bathroom.
now I'm away i cant cease thinking of her!! ?,
i want to talk to her, to look her, to be around her
to have her in my arms.
she is on my mind everyday and i cant cease dreaming about her,
i dont want to tho.
but my feelings for my cousin
are extremely strong for some reason now and i wish they weweren't
i would not dream of doing anything and until she is of age but i have fallen in adore with her ?
is there something wrong with me,
do i need help ?
i feel hatred for myself for having sexuall dreams for my cousin or for a girl of her age, i fear i might do something stupid like telling her dad but how would he react to that i wish i could speek to him? but i deeply adore her and want to be with her.
i do not want this feeling or dreams for her but i cannot help it, i go to snooze and there she is
i need your help please,
she is very mature for her age she knows every about sex, she is sexually active, she has seen a lot of sex on tv, she has the maturity of an 18 year old girl. she dosent go to the park or have sleepovers like girls her age she watches sex and the city and stuff. i need help